Not Just A Blonde

We are "Not Just" who we seem to be on this Earthly plane, but so much more. We are ALL children of a loving God who is calling us home to Love. This blog is dedicated to those of us on that journey together…

Many people over many generations have contemplated, meditated, debated and researched who God is or even what He might be. Some have questioned his even existence, whereas others, like myself, have mostly questioned what he might actually be like. Is He a good guy or a bad guy? Does He love me or is He repulsed?

I was first introduced to God as a little girl going to Sunday school. This God was big, powerful and somewhat scary. It appeared to me via the Old Testament of the Bible that God had quite a temper and did not tolerate disobedience without revenge and retribution! I noted that He seemed to choose His favorites for extra special blessings and tolerated (if not condoned) slavery. He inflicted plagues, asked people to do the unthinkable, required lots and lots of ritualistic sacrifice and demanded strict obedience… or else! Risking rejection or placing yourself outside the realm of favor He was not just a God to be revered but a God to be feared!

And then there was God’s very much approachable son Jesus! Now this was a part of God I could relate to and dare to approach for spiritual support and guidance. His Biblical description seemed so different to me than that of His Father. He loved and accepted everybody no matter what! He also told some really good stories and performed miracles without effort. He was a part of the Divine I wanted to be close to! Jesus had my back!

Where God seemed judgmental & condemning… Jesus seemed totally accepting and forgiving! If He reprimanded anyone it seemed to be because He knew we could do better… be better. He knew we would be so more satisfied with Him than without Him!

Ahhh… the perspective of youth! How much was the Grace of Jesus Christ was needed and longed for! A simple Savior with a simple plan of salvation. The Faith of a child was all that it would take to insure you were in His loving grasp forever! It was a sweet moment to have been in… alas, it didn’t last beyond my younger years.

Unfortunately, my Faith became much more complicated as I developed into a teen. Life seemed to become more difficult… I began to look for spiritual answers to these new problems. I was “educated” by the church on “the rules” of the game. The Apostle Paul’s letters had me especially stressed out! Wearing a mini skirt might cause someone else to sin, so that was out! “Secular” music was filled with error and temptation! So, that was a no-no as well! Legalism replaced love and my Spiritual anxiety soured. Would I, could I ever get it right?! What was the “it” anyway? Christianity became more and more confusing! I began to lose faith that I could ever feel like I was one of His children… I wasn’t sure I could trust Him to lead my life. If I didn’t comply perfectly would I still be “in” or was I one sin away from condemnation?

I began to question… why would a loving God put the tree of knowledge in the garden of Eden anyway? Knowing we would eventually succumb to the irresistible temptation to create just like God did… knowing we would chose to be separated from Him and try this thing called life on our own without God. Our Creator no longer super close, the great deceiver (aka Satan) was able and free to have his way with us… torturing us, lying to us, and causing us perpetual pain in hopes we would be so distracted we would forget how we got into this predicament in the first place! Well… (sigh) it looks like it worked.

Who is this God I yearn for? Who is this Jesus that came to save me from myself? Now separate from God I yearned to meet Him again… to walk with Him and talk with Him like Eve did before that blasted apple was in the picture! I wanted to know so many things! What was God thinking?What’s He like? What’s He all about? Did the Bible get “it” right? Is that all… or is there more to Him than that? The more I tried learn & look for the answers the more complicated it became!

Who is this mysterious invisible God that sent His son so that we may know Him? And there it was. There laid the answer. Jesus is the answer to who God really is… Loving, Forgiving, Full of Grace & Acceptance. He was sent to us in Human form so we could know Him. And He is forever calling us to Him through the power of the Holy Spirit… Jesus’ parting gift to us from above! His Voice answering in our darkest moments… with Love.

One thing seems to resonate with my soul and seems very clear. We may be vessels through which His love can reach others, however God is the Source of “it” all. Like an eternal well, always flowing… His love is abundant and never ending. To learn to love is to learn about God. To know love is to know God. It’s simplicity returns me back to the simple faith of a child… the desire for unconditional love that calls us Home to Him. Simply, God is that Love.

❤ God is Love is God.



13 thoughts on “Who Is God… Really?

  1. Pieter says:

    Jesus approachable? That is a perception, not reality. He was a radical at times. Controversial and sometimes forthright to the point of being offensive. As Jesus is God, He will not be different. Our perceptions come from Sunday school and also for a Christianity that looks at Him through rosy glasses.

    We have freedom of choice, so that we are not slaves to a dictator. How we choose, defines His next action, as He hates sin. If we choose right, He will be compliant as well.

    The Bible explains rather clearly who He is. If we eat the Word like bread, especially the OT, we see Him clearly. The NT is less descriptive. Therefore, if we do not read, we cannot understand. I had the luxury of time as I spent months at a time in bed, at home or in hospital, over many years. My bad health afforded me time to sit at His feet and experience Him in a most intimate and personal way.

    It was during this twenty years that I saw how deceived the church is and how wrong perceptions affected the world. I have posted a page titled Creation was an Act of Love, where the reader can read between the lines. More is said there than is written, as it challenges perceptions coming from Sunday school and the pulpit.

    The conclusion is that He is hurting badly because of us, and He doesn’t deserve that. It says in Isaiah 30 that He is anxious to bless but that we are not in the right place to receive it.

    We have to return to One God, who is Love.

    -original message- Subject: [New post] Who Is God… Really?


    1. “He is anxious to bless but that we are not in the right place to receive it” resonates strongly with me. I also find it interesting that during a difficult time with your health how you were blessed with the time to be able to really read, meditate and experience Him. Through that experience now I am blessed as well with wonderful food for thought. Thank you.


      1. Pieter says:

        Paul had bodily ailments and he even feared for at least three months that one of his friends would die of an illness. Like Andrew Murray, my observation is that, while my body deteriorated, the inverse was true regarding faith. I have been classified medically as permanently disabled yet my spirit is fighting fit, lithe and immensely strong. To me, the biggest advantage was to learn to trust Him and to have His peace even when we became terribly poor and lived in kiddies’ play tents. Wealth is different from riches.

        Like Job, the end result after immense trials and tribulations, is having favour with Him in a different way than before. The downside is having outgrown any form of religion and my pet peeve is the culture of titles. Not even Jesus is called Bro but so many insist upon these little qualifiers that are used to discriminate.

        God is not in that. What does God look like? Simple, uncomplicated, unsophisticated and endlessly humble. He never bared fangs where people lived within His will. I have been rich and I have been poor. I have climbed mountains, went down into the ocean, crossed dangerous rivers, formed white-hot steel, survived a hurricane and the heat of the desert. Death came to me a few times and yet here I am. In all of this, His presence has been consistent and His love sufficient.

        Job’s life ended well and so will mine. As it says in Ps 119:65-73, suffering has done me well as I now **know** Him. Pain is fertilizer, it contains energy that drives growth. If we allow it to 😀

        -original message- Subject: [New comment] Who Is God… Really?


    2. You said, ‘Jesus approachable? That is a perception, not reality. He was a radical at times. Controversial and sometimes forthright to the point of being offensive.’

      Sometimes Jesus does appear scathing in the Gospels. However, he reserves his harsh words for one group only–the religious leaders who looked down on the ‘sinners’. The sinners were precious to the Father and Jesus let the Pharisees know it on a number of occasions.

      Regarding approachability, I think the key passage of the entire Bible is in Matthew chapter 11: ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’ Jesus sounds very approachable to me.


      1. Pieter says:

        Of course you are right 🙂 I just came across so many people who never even knew about His rough edge and, as I like balance, I sometimes point it out to others.

        Like Jesus, I am most approachable and yet my level of tolerance after years of extreme abuse and persecution, is limited where the religious abound. I believe in your Jesus, who travels light and burdens none!

        -original message- Subject: [New comment] Who Is God… Really?


  2. You said it very well, ‘Jesus is the answer to who God really is… Loving, Forgiving, Full of Grace & Acceptance.’

    Many of us struggle over the contrast between the angry, violent God of the Old Testament and the Father that Jesus tells us about in the New. I now believe that the OT writers wrote about what THEY thought God was like–and they were often wrong.

    I think I can rely on Jesus’ portrait of the Father; I no longer worry much about the OT picture of God written by people who felt connected to God but were not well informed about his nature. Jesus is the answer to who God really is.


    1. Pieter says:

      Even in the IT it is stated that God is slow to anger and quick to forgive. And when Cain sinned, God warned anyone harming Cain that He will come down on that person sevenfold. Even when correcting someone, he showed mercy and allowed grace to flow.

      Sometimes man does wrong things and then God has to be just and true, which perhaps hurts Him as much, yet many blame Him for being cruel. That is not the case; if we remain in Him and His Word (Jesus) in us, how can we go wrong?

      He is a fountain of Love, Mercy and Grace.


  3. Yes, God is all the things you mentioned, but as God’s creation, we are so sinful and wicked. Free will.


    1. We chose sin and wickedness. Free Will. We ARE perfect as His Creation is perfect. We were created in His image. I believe Christ Jesus came to show us we can choose Love and Compassion instead. This is His hope for us… to remember we were created for more. We are perfect in His Love. Our identity is not sin and death but love and life!


      1. Pieter says:

        Success Faith Blessing Reward Love Peace

        Binary possibility.

        ON or OFF

        YES or NO

        We can choose freely!




  4. Hi NJAB, I saw your site today for the first time and enjoyed this post as it really get’s across your honest search for God through a very similar path to millions of other people, which similar to many of us takes a trip through mainstream Christianity. I write on a site called which looks at this phenomenon (the evolution of Christians and Christianity) in depth. Looking forward to your new posts.


    1. Looking forward to reading from yours as well! Thanks for the comment & for your link! 🙂


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