Not Just A Blonde

We are "Not Just" who we seem to be on this Earthly plane, but so much more. We are ALL children of a loving God who is calling us home to Love. This blog is dedicated to those of us on that journey together…

Some want beauty.

Some want health.

Some want time.

Some want wealth.

.

Some want strength.

Some want class.

Some want bravery.

Some want sass.

.

Some want flowers.

Some want booze.

Some want nothing.

I want you.

❤️

You are right

I am wrong

You are notes

To my song

You are North

I am South

See your face

Kiss my mouth

Life is short

Live your art

You hold back

From my heart

You are far

I am near

You have faith

I have fear

Life goes on

Dreams to quell

If it’s Love

Time will tell.

❤️

*dedicated to K.A. who touched my heart from miles away.

What if our beliefs create our reality?

What if the way to heaven on earth is based on our ability to see the future as God wants it to be for us… to become aware of His Powerful Love that can part seas and move mountains and believe He did what He says He did when He died for you and me so that we might live a life of abundance.

What if?

What if it’s True that He did everything that needs to be done already and all we need to DO is BELIEVE.

What if?

What if the future we want will happen if we just relax and allow ourselves time to imagine the goodness of it without sorting how or when it will come to be?

What if?

What if the pain we are suffering is what happens when our minds turn away from God and His Divine Presence? What if fear is the portal to Hell? What if fear is what causes us to stumble and fall? What if fear is what separates from all the good life has in store for you and me?

I suggest an experiment. The results don’t happen right away… just like when you cook something good this may take time to brew. Imagine something good that you are thankful for and that you wouldn’t mind more of. Imagine having it and how good it feels. (Resist thinking about how you don’t have it, try to imagine only the good feelings of its presence). We create our lives through the power of positive thought and feeling. We are God’s children and all he asks of us is to relax a bit and believe. Even a small positive belief will work.

I believe in you. God does too. What if?

Think about it and you will likely experience the amazing creative God-given power of your mind! Be prepared to see all you can achieve and do if you just believe.

❤️Ann

I’ve come to understand more and more that it’s not what you go through in life but how you go through it that shows the love (or lack thereof) in a relationship.

Every couple goes through things… challenges, scares, tragedy’s, feelings, loss, insecurities, confusion. That is as much a part of life as the romance and the chemistry, the good times and pleasant memories. The good and the bad… that’s life, you know? Nothing we do can stop these things from happening… no matter how much we try!

In each relationship we have an opportunity to either let it make us or break us. Do we turn towards our loved one or turn away from them when things get painful and we are struggling? Turning inward for a time can be appropriate and healthy as long as each know they are still cared for and loved and they reconnect before their absence causes pain. It’s in the togetherness of coping and listening and healing that love is truly made into something solid and real.
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How can we know we are Loved or we Love without the times that ask us to give? No, love gets it’s depth once real life appears. So young lovers embrace your hard times and battles for it is during those times your Love will truly grow! And if during a dark and challenging time turning towards the one you propose to love seems too much or you don’t want to for one reason or another… the best thing to do is to let your love go so that they may find a love that will prosper and flourish and blossom and grow.
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Perhaps that’s why God allows bad things to happen to good people for it’s during those times we have an opportunity to know
True Love. 💫

❤️ Ann

There comes a time in many of our lives where we need to go “find ourselves”. What that often means is that we have come to realize we can no longer expect others to make us happy, keep us happy or even to be happy themselves. We yearn to “find ourselves” in greater happiness as what we have created no longer is working… if it ever did. We realize if we want happiness we must find it ourselves… happiness is up to us. 💜
No longer do we wait for permission to be happy, we no longer hesitate to make choices that bring happiness to us and no longer do we shrink our happiness potential down to the comfort level of happiness that others might have for themselves. 💜
No longer do we blame others when we aren’t happy. No longer do we try to control others so we can be happy ourselves. No longer do we resent or judge the happiness of others, we celebrate it and are inspired by it as we seek it out for ourselves.
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We stop expecting others to do things for our happiness that often we aren’t willing to do for ourselves! If clean floors make us happy: we mop them. If eating cookies makes us happy: we bake them. If listening to music makes us happy: we turn up the stereo (or wear some really cool headphones) and dance like we never have before! 💜
We now see clearly that we are the only thing in the way of our own happiness. We understand that “finding ourselves” in a happier place is an action only we can take and often we need not go anywhere at all to find it. 💜


So let us surround ourselves today with others who enhance the happiness we ourselves have already created. 💜

Sparkling on the inside… smiling on the out! ✨

If someone tells you that you made them happier than they have ever been…

don’t be surprised if when they become unhappy you get all the blame.

🙄😩🤭🥴😢😮

We should not be held responsible for anyone else’s happiness but our own. Can we contribute? Yes, but only as much as it feels balanced, right and good. No one should sacrifice their long-term happiness for another. No one.

Being 100% responsible for our happiness isn’t easy, nor does it mean we will always be happy with everything in our lives… yet our happiness need not be controlled by external people or circumstances. Happiness should bubble up from within.

So make yourself happy! Contribute to the lives of others as it feels good to you… but walk away if you are ever blamed for another’s misery. It feels like they are giving you their power but really they just want to take yours away.

Be happy. Love on.

❤️Ann

A little reminder of what Love in a loving relationship ought look like. So many times we say we love but we forget how important our actions are in reflecting our true sentiment. Love does not require we neglect or deny our own needs in order to love another… but it does require something of us if we truly want Love to exist. Love is an action word and without action love dies a tragic death. ❤️Ann

Love says:

“Your happiness and well-being are important to me.

I do things from time-to-time just for this reason, with no strings attached.

I do not do these things because I have to but because I truly want to.

Not for your approval, not for your appreciation nor out of obligation but out of unconditional love.

I celebrate the opportunity to contribute to your life, because that is what true love does.”

If you are going to love, Love Big

💙

Love as big as the ocean

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Let it’s powerful waves carry you along 🌊

Relax and let it support you with it’s ups and downs

💙

No need to fight it’s powerful current, lest you wear yourself out and drown

💦

⚓️

Let this Big Love move you and rock you, as you are carried away to where you truly belong

🌊

Yes, let Love carry you away

💙

Let go of the shore and set your sails on the Sea of Love … and never ever look back.💙Ann

I somehow missed the memo regarding love and giving. Did you get it? If so, I’d love to know what age you were when it arrived!

I always have received great joy in giving… especially to those I love. Learning quite clearly how much better it is to give than to receive I would find myself giving way more than I was receiving and taking pride in need-anticipation, creativity and exceeding expectation.

When I noticed that perhaps within a romantic relationship or friendship I was giving consistently more than I was receiving instead of acknowledging the imbalance I would work hard at lowering my expectations of the other. I’d remember the words “It is better to give than to receive” and be proud that I was doing Love right and optimistic that it would create the loving relationships I do desperately craved.

The problem is: I have needs. Actually, that isn’t the problem… the problem is that I would give to others without giving enough to myself or receiving enough for myself to get my own needs met. I would deny my need for rest, balance, respect, affection, attention, resources, creative expression, financial reimbursement… and resent the fact that I was giving so much and yet feeling so disrespected, under-valued, invisible… unloved. And yet, can you see how I created this myself by my misunderstanding of love and how true love gives?

If not, I can understand how you might have missed it. I did too for years and am just know able to see it and try to change my own behaviors and reactions. Giving to others while harboring shame or guilt in having a desire to have my own needs met kept me in a vicious cycle in over-giving to others and then feeling depleted and discouraged when others failed to give to me.

It felt selfish to give to myself so I would try to hide my needs or shamefully hide my efforts in meeting my needs. I was fearful I would be judged by others as I judged myself. Unconsciously at times I would manipulate others getting my needs met by using guilt or demands, but this never felt very good. It definitely didn’t feel like love.

Of course I often failed to make my needs known and I failed to request help from others when in need. Without awareness I sabotaged many opportunities for others to give to me.

So out of my unmet neediness I was not truly giving with love. How could I be when I wasn’t loving myself. My giving was tainted with neediness such as the need to feel attractive, valued, heard, seen, accepted, and unconditionally loved.

I can see now how it can be many times more loving to NOT give. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say to not give in one obvious ways thereby instead give something else, although not requested is way more authentic and healthy… and loving.

For example: by not giving my kids whatever they want… they are given the opportunity to work or earn what they want and learn how capable they are at times in getting their own wants and needs met. Another example is by saying no to helping look for the missing phone I am giving them the opportunity to figure out how to survive without me finding their phone… either by finding it themselves or learning how to live without it.

Not giving can also allow us the time to give to ourselves and meet our own needs. So, if instead of joining the search committee I continue to paint in my studio I can fill my need of self-expression and create through painting.

The cool thing is by giving to myself without shame I am more able to give to others without feeling depleted and resentful. By not over-giving and under-requesting I am showing others that I deserve respect. This creates the dynamic that increases the respect I will receive, not just by others… but most importantly by myself.

I suppose it may be better to give than to receive as long as we remember a few things:

1) The importance of keeping our closest relationships somewhat balanced over time in giving/getting

2) To release our shame or pride at having needs

3) To learn to request with love when we desire our needs met by another (request, never demand)

and…

4) To self-give without guilt.

You see, to love is to give AND to receive… both are important in keeping not just Love alive and healthy but us as souls in human bodies alive and as healthy as well.

💖Ann

#givetoyourself

#loveyourselffirst

Do you have needs? Do you know what they are? 🤔💜

I’m not even sure what it means to have needs but I do know that recognizing them and unashamedly getting them met is an important component of self-love and validation of self-worth. Why haven’t I ever thought about this before? 💜

I have had this feeling somehow for awhile now that having needs makes me “needy” and who wants to be that?! Yet… I’m learning (slowly but steadily) that to have needs is to be human and to have them met is to be loved… even if it’s loved by yourself. 💜🦄💜

I need (1) to be appreciated for the unique person I am, for my gifts, my ideas and my contributions (2) to have the time and space to create (3) affection (4) to be encouraged and supported by those closest to me (5) healthy movement (6) time alone (7) time with those I love (8) smiles and laughter (9) sunshine (10) love 💜💜💜💜

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Art by Ann with more to see so please follow me at my Ann McPherson Art Facebook or Instagram page! 💜

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