Those of you who know me well know how much I’ve loved Starbucks over the years. My coveted drink is a Venti, nonfat white mocha, extra-hot, stirred, no whip, with foam and a dash of cinnamon dolce topping. Trouble is my love affair with Starbucks had taken an obsessive turn for the worse.
I started using Starbucks for more than just for the coffee. Starbucks was my escape; an indulgence that represented self-value and self-nuturing. “Get me outta here!” I’d think when the kids got rowdy and I felt over-stimulated. I’d get in my van and drive across town to be served my magic self-love potion. “I deserve it!” I would rationalize when I loaded my gold card again and again with extra cash.
Starbucks was how I showed myself love. It’s kinda sad… yet totally understandable too. I need love, you need love… we all need it! The truth is that love will never be found in a cup of coffee… no matter how yummy and amazing it is!
It wasn’t until I considered stopping that I was aware of my great resistance. Until one attempts to and goes without, one can never know the pain that is being covered up. By going without my Starbucks for one day… and then two… and hurting for my coffee cup to be filled did I see what had gone terribly amiss! I craved love, not coffee.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever give up my “love” for Starbucks, but I can tell you one thing for sure: I’m going to stop loving myself with Starbucks and start loving myself with compassion, self-acceptance, patience, honesty, kindness, and love. I will turn to God not coffee for the love I crave.
What are you loving yourself with?