Not Just A Blonde

We are "Not Just" who we seem to be on this Earthly plane, but so much more. We are ALL children of a loving God who is calling us home to Love. This blog is dedicated to those of us on that journey together…

Sometimes I put on a smile for the world, when my insides are crying. I try to go through the motions of fitting in when I really feel like an alien in a foreign land. Disconnected and dishonest… I feel miserable! I feel like an “imitation Ann”… close to the real deal… just not quite “right”, ya know? So why do I continue to smile, smile, smile… when in reality I just want to cry?!

I guess it’s because I try to “Fake it til I make it”! Who wants to be around sadness, awkwardness and negativity anyways? Especially when I know others struggle with so much more… so I plaster on a smile and carry on.

Sometimes I can smile and respond “I’m good, and you?” and feel the brief relief of denial, but usually over time I end up feeling like a phony… and a bit guilty over deceiving so many unsuspecting folks!

But that is what we do, isn’t it? After all, it is often seen as socially inappropriate to bear our souls. Not everyone is ready or capable of hearing the truth about what is really going on behind our masks. Sometimes, let’s be honest, some folks just don’t even care.

And yet, it is such a relief when I can be honest and share the realness of my life and my troubles! How affirming it is to share with those who truly care and are non-judgmental about the pain I am carrying. Being authentic and honest about how I’m feeling relieves a burden of my soul and truly lightens my load and heals my heart!

We are called to be authentic and honest. Yes, sometimes there is such a thing as TMI (“too much information” haha!) and we must always respect the limitations and fears of those with whom we are sharing our stories and our hearts… yet I believe, yes, truly believe we are called to be bravely open and honest with our struggles and our triumphs of the spirit.

Psychotherapy, friendships, marriages, support groups, and small groups at church are all examples of key places we can share the truth of our journey and ourselves. I believe these meetings and relationships are inspired by the Divine who never intended we set out on this journey alone… but are meant to be together in truth!

We should let go of any attachment to the approval from others. We should let go of the worry of feeling embarrassed, ridiculed or ashamed. Instead we might consider the pain of living a lie… the burden of a journey with the cloak of fear hiding out true thoughts and souls.

Life is not meant to be “acted” but to be lived… and we are called to live authentically! Be brave! Be fierce!

We shall live as openly and as be as REAL as we can with the rewards of connection, of healing and of true peace to follow.

Sometimes we must “fake it til we make it”, we just shouldn’t fake it for too long. 😉 More often we need to open ourselves up to each other and to love.

I am feeling much relief these days as I have received the gift of an open ear and an open heart… a true gift of life and love that has transformed me. I am grateful to all who accept me without my mask and who by example inspire me to leave it off more and more. Thank you to all who encourage me as I aspire to embrace my truth and my authenticity!

May we all remember the potential sadness that may linger behind another’s smile. May we each feel inspired to share our truth and our pain in order to be transformed and so we all may feel the relief of setting down our masks.




9 thoughts on “Share Your Realness With The World

  1. Great post! But sometimes I think the “fake it ’till you make it” tactic is only good AFTER you vent your frustrations and fully experience the low points. It’s not a good use of it when we try to avoid feeling a certain way or avoid facing something we need to face, but it’s a great tool for turning yourself around when you’ve finally had enough. Then it’s kinda like using it to help turn your frown upside down!



    1. Stargazer, That’s a perspective I had not considered. I will have to give that some thought. Thank you for sharing. ❤️Ann

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure! Don’t mind me, sometimes I tend to “overthink” things. 🙂

        How do I make one of those heart thingys, anyway?

        Oh, well…never mind. Here’s a hug instead:

        {{{HUG}}} LOL!



  2. BJF says:

    Stop. Never ever EVER be anything but your TRUEST self with me. Think of it from my perspective: seeing you always happy, always “ON”, always perfect…. would make me feel inadequate as a person. I would start to wonder if there’s really something wrong with me. I have felt that way before and it’s not fun. I had a friend once who hated if I complained about even the smallest insignificant thing. I mean I wouldn’t let it ruin my day, but I would just air general frustrations. Like a normal person does. I mean to look at my Facebook, more often than not I’m complaining about work. If I don’t and I just hold it in, I could very well explode and lose my job. Sure I hate it more often than love it, but I want to leave on MY terms. Getting fired takes that away.

    Life is imperfect, whether that “friend” of mine likes it or not. Life is stressful. Life is overwhelming. Relationships (with a significant other, friends, family members) aren’t perfect and that’s all part of what makes life…. LIFE. That friend walked away from the friendship we had, not me. I’m not going to change who I am to suit someone else. Neither should you; whether the change is permanent or even temporary. I once told you that I sometimes take friends for granted and assume everything is coming along well with no bumps. I am trying to work on that and never take my friends for granted for one minute. You may or may not have seen the image I shared on Facebook earlier today: I am an all or nothing friend. I either REALLY care about you or I don’t give a ****. If I really care, I should show it more often, but at the same time, you need to tell me how things really are. 🙂 ❤

    P.S. – That's a nice something or other you're wearing in that pic. 😉


  3. Donna Sitler says:

    This is wonderful. It so fits our grief support group. Can I share this one? You speak the truth. Love you


    1. Yes! Absolutely! The fact this resonated with you warms my heart. You know I love you too… very much. ❤️Ann


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