Not Just A Blonde

We are "Not Just" who we seem to be on this Earthly plane, but so much more. We are ALL children of a loving God who is calling us home to Love. This blog is dedicated to those of us on that journey together…

My grandma passed away on Christmas just a few short days ago. Her passing has reminded me how each one of us grieves differently: some folks wail, some cry, some go silent, some get busy, some to work, some to bed, some fast, some overeat, and some of us do a little of each of these things or even something altogether different.

Grief is expressed differently for each of us and the way we grieve often changes over time. Grief is as unique and special as we are… and as the relationships we share.

The important thing is not how we grieve but that we allow ourselves to grieve… no matter what form our grief takes! As long as we are gentle and loving to ourselves during this special time, that is what is important.

We need time to grieve… time to reflect and to feel. Time to absorb the meaning that person has in our lives. To appreciate how their presence in our life holds special meaning. We need time to dwell in the love we share with our departed loved one. We need to allow ourself the sacred gift of grief.

This time of grief is a sacred time. Grief deserves a sacred space in our over-scheduled, highly-demanding lives. The time to grieve is a gift we must give ourselves to heal our hearts, integrate the imprints that our loved one’s souls have left on our hearts and in our lives as we carry on.

Grief is not something to fear but to embrace. It must have it’s time to provide for us it’s holy purpose. Grief is a sacred gift of healing and love.

❤️Ann ‘Not Just A Blonde’

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11 thoughts on “The Sacred Gift of Grief

  1. Well said, Blonde. I agree with your assessment.

    I lost both my Dad and a younger sister this year. They were the first deaths in my nuclear family. I experienced grief as I have not since my grandfather died in 1975.

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for your comment. May peace and love fill your heart. ❤️Ann

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  2. BJF says:

    As I mentioned to you on Facebook, I too lost my grandmother around Christmas. The 23rd to be exact. At the time it happened I was working a part time job at the Disney Store when I got the call. My mother told me not to bother leaving since there wasn’t anything I could do, but my supervisor told me to go home. So I did. Well, indirectly. I went driving around for a while, then finally went home. I didn’t grieve like people normally think of doing, but I do think of her quite often. I miss certain things she cooked. I remember when she’d take us shopping. I miss spending Thanksgiving night at her house to get up “early” on Black Friday to go shopping. And by early I mean we’d wake up in time to get to the mall at 8 when the stores would open. lol

    But all in all, yes, it’s up to each individual to grieve however suits them. *hugs*

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    1. Hugs back. I am glad your supervisor told you to go… that was wisdom. You needed that driving time… that was a true gift. My boss asked me if I wanted to go home (I was off work on the 26th, this was the next day) but I had 15 patients on my caseload and just felt the need to carry on. I am glad though to have the next few days off… I need that time. Grieving is an important part of living.

      I am also not a “typical” griever either (whatever THAT is) and have felt some guilt over not ‘losing’ it like others seem to do. I’ve questioned: Do I not care as much? The answer, of course is: No! I absolutely DO care, and grieve and love but I heal, grieve and process differently and THAT IS OKAY! One cannot embrace grieve if one is worried they aren’t “doing it right!” or are beating themselves up over their methods.

      Thank you for sharing your sweet memories of your grandma! Those are the little treasures given when we take the time to reflect and mourn in our own time. My heart is smiling with you! As always your comments make my heart smile as well!

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      1. BJF says:

        I’m not a typical anything. Lol I remember my first job after college was in a brand new warehouse for Office Depot. I was in on the ground floor, so to speak, and one day my supervisor asked if I was excited about the opening. I was, but because I wasn’t bouncing up and down in excitement, she thought there was something wrong.

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  3. angela says:

    Love this post but so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

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  4. Laura Mark says:

    Well said, oh Wise One. I never thought of grief as a gift, but that is a great idea. Thank you for sharing your gift with us in this post. May your thoughts and memories of your grandmother bring you comfort in this difficult time.

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    1. Thank you Laura for your kind words. 😊 Yes, as painful as grief is, I truly believe it is a gift and a sacred time. Some losses are grieved in some way for the rest of our lives. When we go to a special place in their honor: whether it be where they passed, where their remains are laid to rest or even to their favorite place, the time spent there should be honored. Even time spent thinking of our loved ones is a sacred moment and should be valued as such. Too often I think we as a society try to rush or minimize grief. We give ourselves and others time limits or critiques in our methods. This is neither loving nor helpful. In fact, I believe God understands this and wants us to embrace this gift of time spent in remembrance and love until the time we all return Home. ❤️Ann

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  5. mack says:

    So sorry for the loss of your grandma, Ann. This was a very timely piece for me. Had way more than my share of good friends including my father-in-law die this year. (total of 5 I think) Thought it might be done for the year and just lost another dear friend yesterday to cancer. Trying like crazy to turn the hurt into something good, but your’e right – it’s a process. Watching my peer group (middle age) start to drop off is both painful and a real eye opener. Makes you appreciate your life in a way that nothing else does.

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    1. I’m sorry for your losses as well. It warms my heart to know my words have helped you on your journey towards healing and love. Five losses in such a short period of time is quite a lot and life-altering no matter who you are or whatever your Faith! May the Spirit of God continue to comfort you and may joy be yours in the days and weeks to come! Thank you for your comment and Peace be with you! ❤️Ann

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