Last week was rough. Plain and simple… it sucked. It wasn’t one big thing… no, nothing life-shattering or huge, but a bunch of little things that All. Added. Up.
Stress. Anxiety. Blah, blah, blah. From missing a field trip with my son due to a fever… to missing a going away party for a newly departed coworker… I was down & disappointed. From feeling overwhelmed and over-stretched at work… to the giving & receiving of irritability, I was stressed & angry. Life was difficult… from the inside of my head… out!
I tell ya, sometimes life just blows… not for any other reason but because a bunch of things add up that just let me down. Happiness is just out of my reach… and I feel too exhausted to stretch any further to embrace it. I give up.
I am not sure why I let last week defeat me, but I did. Each day I tried on my own to do better, behave better, think better, but as I had a few successes … they were soon over shown by my failures. My brief attempts at laughter were quickly drowned out by my tears of frustration.
On my own I was struggling to hold it together. I hated to bother God with my ridiculousness. After all, it wasn’t His fault I continued to drop the ball… it was mine. I was the one messing everything up. On my own: I was a failure.
What’s a girl to do when life gets her down? Admit defeat. And I eventually did, and that is where my healing began.
Oh, don’t get me wrong I wallowed in self-pity. I sighed at my own stickin’-thinkin’ again & again before I decided to let it go and try again… another day, another way.
I finally turned to God to help me be happy with where I was and to look with hope into the future. I believed in His Grace. I believed that He would carry me through my self-created mess if I just looked towards Him.
With His nudging, I took more time to notice His blessings! I appreciated the kind words from my boss, the smile of a stranger, the peaceful time resting with my child! I took more time to notice others, to listen, to smile myself even though things were not going as I had planned.
I accepted my imperfections and admitted my mistakes. I swallowed (stomped on) my ego and realized this week was not all about me.
By getting out of my head and looking towards God I could see things differently… how He was there the whole time lifting me up! He was there ready and willing to guide me to a better way through His Love and infinite Grace.
When I gave up on my ability to turn my own ship around, He took me in His arms and pushed me back up… out of myself and into His Love. Through that Love He reminded me that He is there and willing to carry me, even when life sucks… and when I need Him the most!
God Loves all His kids the same, so if He’d do that for me, He will absolutely do it for you too! That’s the good news, we don’t ever have to run this life alone!
❤️Ann ‘Not Just A Blonde’