A few weeks ago I shared an on-line rant in A Hateful Situation (Part One) regarding my hatred towards another. I was agitated, frustrated, and exasperated! I was absolutely in the thick of it… consumed by hatred’s raging fire.
Every time I thought about or saw this person I would get angry. Very angry. It was as if storm clouds of negativity would roll in, and I would be left in anger’s downpour.
I was an negative ball of energy… even just hearing her voice would agitate me! Honestly, I was beginning to become someone I didn’t like! Eaten up by bitterness and resentment, my peace and joy were gone.
I found myself resisting; addicted to the gossip, I hesitated! My hatred was familiar…. it had become my confidant! The very thing I prayed God to take away I was finding myself reluctant to release!
I was hanging on to hatred! I was finding company there… I was uniting with others in their hatred of this person… we had our reasons! My top 10 list clearly outlined that we were right! She was wrong! Yet… I knew better, didn’t I?
What did hatred offer me? With the recent Miley Cyrus VMA scandal I noticed a thing or two that left me feeling quite convicted.
I noticed that people like to join together against “evil”. We find false comfort in being right with another being wrong.
We condemn, we judge, we gossip… feeling smug in our “right-mindedness” over another. Often we unite with others in our animosity and outage! We pride ourselves in our moral-superiority over others! We find satisfaction in being on morally high-ground!
I realized I had done this inadvertently as well… through my gossiping and with my reciprocated venting. By uniting under hate, I had let hate take control.
From the detached hatred of a celebrity never met… to the neighbor next door, the dynamic was the same. Perpetual hatred at times is more than just about the greivenves held as much as it is about us and our own need to feel better and morally-superior over another.
I said I wanted Peace when my thoughts and actions were pulling me the opposite direction. Within my perpetual inner conflict I was damning myself to a self-created hell.
God speaks to me when I seek Him… every time if I seek with an open heart. Desperate to regain Peace, I timidly surrendered to His Will… leaning towards Him I listened.
I listened to His Voice as He told me what to do… this time with open ears and heart.
The same words were said as delivered weeks ago:
Me: Okay God, what should I DO?
God: Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want PEACE?
Me: I think I’ve heard a version of this before… I know where you’re headed with this.
Me: (Deep inhale, followed by a long exhale) …. Peace.
God: Offer her joy. Offer her Peace
God: Be positive and affirming towards her. Abstain from negative thoughts of her. Cease any negative dialog regarding her, both internally and externally. If you have an unloving thought, however “true”… Let it go.
Me: Let it go?
Me: …But for how long?
God: Until you are once again with Me in Peace.
And God continued to speak to me:
Remember she is a child of mine as are you. Love her. Show her this love through your actions. Release your grasp of hate and let go to grasp onto my hand of Love.
God was talking to my heart… after all, I’d come to Him. “Let it go… let it go… let it go…”
And so I did. I made the choice to release my grasp of hatred and I grabbed onto God’s way instead. In order to be different I chose differently… looking towards Love leaving hatred behind.
Letting go of hatred’s addiction I now again have compassion flowing in my heart, forgiveness in my mind, and peace in my soul.
As of today I am free of hatred’s pull. If tempted to succumb to it’s temptation I will remember His Voice… let it go… pray for her better good… be kind. I will again turn away from hate and walk in love… and enjoy the Peace that only the way of God can bring.
❤Not Just A Blonde