I’m Not Gay, So Why Do I Care?

Recently, after a fairly impassioned pro-gay rights rant I was asked by my husband: “You’re not gay, so why do you care?” He asked this not in a jerky-judgmental way, but in a I-don’t-know-why-you’re-so-worked-up kinda way. After all, I’m a legally married, heterosexual, middle-age, middle-class, mom. I live the American tradition. I teach Sunday School. I love Jesus. My life would not change directly one bit if gay marriage ever passes or not. What then is my problem?

Well, let’s start with a peek into the history books: Homosexual and transgender romantic love was not a cultural phenomenon in Biblical times. Same gender sex happened, sure! I’m not talking here about same gender lust… I am taking about romantic, committed, consensual love… a partnership, a family. Such an institution was not explored, not discussed… homosexual activity as condemned by early Christians was just about the sex.

Much research has been done on the sexual immorality during Biblical times. Soldiers would have their sexual drives fulfilled by abusing young boys, or by the use of prostitutes both male and female. This is not homosexual love.

When strangers would come from other lands, men would dominate the visitor by taking him against his will. This is not homosexual love. Heterosexual men would choose to have sex with other men simply out of lust and hedonistic desire. Sex to dominate and control. This is not homosexual love.

I have no problem with identifying lust as a sin, however this sin applies to all… no matter the sexual orientation. Committed marriage is God’s loving solution to the strong desires of the flesh. Sex between same gender individuals is often (due to current laws) out of wedlock, thus could be seen as sinful, or at the very least not blessed as it would be within the marital bed.

God created us with the need to love as well as to be loved! He created us to find comfort and peace in our beloved’s arms. THIS IS HOW HE CREATED US. To deny a same-sex couple to marry is to deny them these blessings from God. How can this be love?

All it takes to gain understanding about the purity of homosexual love and to develop compassion for the sufferings of the LBGT community is to listen to your gay brother or lesbian sister. You can be a part of their lives and hear their heartaches. Listen to their hearts… listen to their stories. You don’t even have to get off your couch! Read a blog like Sacred Tension! With the world of blogging and social networking at your fingertips, learning & connecting is just a google away!

Read UNFAIR from cover to cover. A book written by a heterosexual married male that shares my calling to spread the message God’s Love. In this book there are stories of real people, with real heartaches, and a God that wants to comfort them through US… not because of us!

Homosexuals aren’t deviant sex addicts. Homosexuality isn’t just about hedonistic sex with someone who’s the same gender… anymore than heterosexuality is about strippers or one-night stands with someone of the opposite gender. C’mon guys! Get your head out of the gutter! It’s about L-O-V-E.

What if homosexuals feel the EXACT same way about their beloved as you do with yours? What if loving the opposite gender was wrong? How would you handle the shame? The loneliness? The societal rejection? How would you cope with the church’s judgement? How would YOUR heart ache?

No matter how advanced your imagination it would be difficult to truly understand the pain and separation that the homosexuals feel unless you truly have walked in his or her shoes. At the end of the day we can go home to our beloved and know that our love will be treated with honor and respect.

Within a hetero-marriage we can legally be married with all the special rights, benefits and privileges this social contract provides. We can feel smug that when we have our physical and sexual needs met that we are blessed by God and not judged by others. We can feel accepted and whole.

As a heterosexual I have never been judged by others for my love or choice to have a family! My 16+ years of marriage is celebrated and revered by society and my church as an accomplishment and spiritual victory over flesh… not as a defeat!

I’m not gay… so why DO I care? I care because I’m called to love my neighbor as myself! I care because the LGBT community is filled with people who are feeling and experiencing anything but love. Not only are we, as Christians, not loving them; we are judging them out of our own fears and misconceptions. We are using God’s Word as we understand it to hurt those very outcasts we are called to love! I care because I love as I am called to LOVE ALL.

❤Not Just A Blonde

Colossians 3:12-14 ~ Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.