Not Just A Blonde

We are "Not Just" who we seem to be on this Earthly plane, but so much more. We are ALL children of a loving God who is calling us home to Love. This blog is dedicated to those of us on that journey together…

Recently, after a fairly impassioned pro-gay rights rant I was asked by my husband: “You’re not gay, so why do you care?” He asked this not in a jerky-judgmental way, but in a I-don’t-know-why-you’re-so-worked-up kinda way. After all, I’m a legally married, heterosexual, middle-age, middle-class, mom. I live the American tradition. I teach Sunday School. I love Jesus. My life would not change directly one bit if gay marriage ever passes or not. What then is my problem?

Well, let’s start with a peek into the history books: Homosexual and transgender romantic love was not a cultural phenomenon in Biblical times. Same gender sex happened, sure! I’m not talking here about same gender lust… I am taking about romantic, committed, consensual love… a partnership, a family. Such an institution was not explored, not discussed… homosexual activity as condemned by early Christians was just about the sex.

Much research has been done on the sexual immorality during Biblical times. Soldiers would have their sexual drives fulfilled by abusing young boys, or by the use of prostitutes both male and female. This is not homosexual love.

When strangers would come from other lands, men would dominate the visitor by taking him against his will. This is not homosexual love. Heterosexual men would choose to have sex with other men simply out of lust and hedonistic desire. Sex to dominate and control. This is not homosexual love.

I have no problem with identifying lust as a sin, however this sin applies to all… no matter the sexual orientation. Committed marriage is God’s loving solution to the strong desires of the flesh. Sex between same gender individuals is often (due to current laws) out of wedlock, thus could be seen as sinful, or at the very least not blessed as it would be within the marital bed.

God created us with the need to love as well as to be loved! He created us to find comfort and peace in our beloved’s arms. THIS IS HOW HE CREATED US. To deny a same-sex couple to marry is to deny them these blessings from God. How can this be love?

All it takes to gain understanding about the purity of homosexual love and to develop compassion for the sufferings of the LBGT community is to listen to your gay brother or lesbian sister. You can be a part of their lives and hear their heartaches. Listen to their hearts… listen to their stories. You don’t even have to get off your couch! Read a blog like Sacred Tension! With the world of blogging and social networking at your fingertips, learning & connecting is just a google away!

Read UNFAIR from cover to cover. A book written by a heterosexual married male that shares my calling to spread the message God’s Love. In this book there are stories of real people, with real heartaches, and a God that wants to comfort them through US… not because of us!

Homosexuals aren’t deviant sex addicts. Homosexuality isn’t just about hedonistic sex with someone who’s the same gender… anymore than heterosexuality is about strippers or one-night stands with someone of the opposite gender. C’mon guys! Get your head out of the gutter! It’s about L-O-V-E.

What if homosexuals feel the EXACT same way about their beloved as you do with yours? What if loving the opposite gender was wrong? How would you handle the shame? The loneliness? The societal rejection? How would you cope with the church’s judgement? How would YOUR heart ache?

No matter how advanced your imagination it would be difficult to truly understand the pain and separation that the homosexuals feel unless you truly have walked in his or her shoes. At the end of the day we can go home to our beloved and know that our love will be treated with honor and respect.

Within a hetero-marriage we can legally be married with all the special rights, benefits and privileges this social contract provides. We can feel smug that when we have our physical and sexual needs met that we are blessed by God and not judged by others. We can feel accepted and whole.

As a heterosexual I have never been judged by others for my love or choice to have a family! My 16+ years of marriage is celebrated and revered by society and my church as an accomplishment and spiritual victory over flesh… not as a defeat!

I’m not gay… so why DO I care? I care because I’m called to love my neighbor as myself! I care because the LGBT community is filled with people who are feeling and experiencing anything but love. Not only are we, as Christians, not loving them; we are judging them out of our own fears and misconceptions. We are using God’s Word as we understand it to hurt those very outcasts we are called to love! I care because I love as I am called to LOVE ALL.

❤Not Just A Blonde

20131005-123727.jpgColossians 3:12-14 ~ Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

28 thoughts on “I’m Not Gay, So Why Do I Care?

  1. I stand with you. I am hetero and have been happily married for 40 years, but I strongly advocate marriage equality for gays. You may be familiar with it, but I recommend another excellent book: Torn by Justin Lee who is director of The Gay Christian Network

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you! I appreciate the recommendation and as always your comments! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Gretchen says:

    I wish there were a LOVE button on facebook!!!! LIKE just doen’t cut it!!! I am sharing this w/ everyone I know! LOVE it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Share, share, share… FB… tweet… I’m glad you loved it! You’re + words warm my heart and encourage my soul!


  3. Lisa.O says:

    I just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! You can see what it is about here:

    I love your blog and know others will too!


    1. Oh, thank you! How sweet! I’ll be sure to check it out! 😉


  4. Reblogged this on jamiepeters48 and commented:
    She said a lot.


    1. I hope my blog post resonates with others and perhaps… just perhaps gives someone another way to look at this. I care, I really care… and I hope this is reflected by my words.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Scott Mann says:

    Awesome!!! Well said!


    1. It’s such a blessing to have had you read this and for your positive words of support! I am in awe of how God works and believe He is calling the church to do a better job of loving and accepting these folks. Together with Christ we can. Thanks Scott!


  6. Traci says:

    Thank you. Thank you for being such an awesome Christian.Thanks to your husband for asking such a thoughtful & non-judgemental question.Thank you for being so caring & loving, & for being so strong to share your conviction. Your faith & understanding of God’s love & human relationships make me proud to call myself your fellow Christian. My dream is that someday I can tell people I’m a lesbian and a Christian, without having to explain myself because so many think those 2 traits contradict each other.


    1. I am praying this with you as well! I’m giving praise to my loving God who has been working on my heart in many ways, and specifically towards this cause for many, many years. I am just thrilled you found some meaning and encouragement in this post!

      Thank YOU for your comment. Your faith in Christ and His church despite the misconceptions and judgement from your fellow Christians is nothing short of inspiring. May one day the unions between all genders be blessed by the church and we can then move forward to living our lives with the love that Christ has intended. 🙂


  7. indybear says:

    “We can feel smug that when we have our physical and sexual needs met that we are blessed by God and not judged by others. ” – It is easy to enjoy such things when you are the one making the rules! I love this post – thank you!


    1. You are welcome! Isn’t it SO true?! It’s easy to condemn others… much more difficult to listen to the voice of God on how we ourselves need to change. I’m glad this post resonated positively with you as well! 🙂


  8. Hi NJAB, I came across your blog on Google+ a few weeks ago and I follow it now, and surprisingly we both put out a post on Christianity and homosexuality recently. Yours is spot on, and “you care” because you’re a kind person who doesnt like to see people be discrimated against, espeically when it’s based on misunderstood theology, and that’s commendable! 🙂 My post is kind of “academic” in nature but it’s here if you want to check it out:


    1. I thank you for your kind comment… I would have responded much sooner yet I just “found” your comment today as I peeked into my spam folder! How wonderful it was to discover your sweet comment there! I am looking forward to reading your post and although I tend to speak more from my heart I definitely appreciate the academic side of things as well! Such a blessing to connect with you as well!


  9. Have you made a #NALT video? Your voice needs to be heard!


    1. I made it today!! :o) I was ridiculously long winded though and am writing everything I said down for the commentary! Is it perfect Uh… no! But I am going to let it go and put it out there as perfection isn’t needed, but support, love and heart is… and I think I got that down pretty good! Thank you Laura for the encouragement… my goal is to have it submitted tonight… commentary, hash-tags n’ all! I am a Christian… and we are Not All Like That!


      1. Yay – good for you! And you already got an amazing response. ❤


      2. Makes my heart smile! Thank you, Laura. Wonderful to be a part of something so meaningful… I will next be encouraging other like-minded folks to do this as well!


    2. Here’s the link to my NALT Christian video! It’s not perfect, but it’s heart-felt and I’m happy to have contributed my little part to this inspirational project! 🙂


  10. BJF says:

    Your wonderful words here amaze me, notjustablonde. I used to be Christian, but due to a combination of volatility within the denomination I grew up in and the fact that I finally came out to myself, I moved away from Christianity. But my family still attends church regularly and I go if/when asked.

    It amazes me how most Christians can differentiate between meaningless sex and deep romantic love when it comes to heterosexuals, but for a Lesbian like me, it’s all wrong and sinful.

    I wish there were more of you around. I’m sure there are, but the voices of those who hate are louder by far than yours.

    I wish you and your family continued blessings. And thanks for visiting my blog.



    1. BJF, I thank you for your words as well… and I hope soon my voice will resonate with others and the call to Love will be louder still! 🙂

      I’m eager to understand what your faith is today or where your Spirituality has taken you! We can learn so much from others journeys! 🙂 (Or, if you have a blog link to share I’d be most eager to read!)

      Blessing & love! Ann


  11. Chloe says:

    Thank you so much Ann, thank you for talking the time to care and the humility to have a heart willing to be transformed by God

    I had always been unsure and skeptical as to why homosexuality was so “wrong”, but unfortunately for me it took falling head over heels for another girl for me to look at the issue of homosexuality and christianity head on.

    In my relationship with my God, my girlfriend and my friends I am very happy, but in my relationship with my parents there is such a struggle. They wholeheartedly believe that what I am doing is wrong and that transfers sadness and shame into my thinking which I don’t think I (nor anyone else) should have to feel for being in love with someone. The problem is they don’t want me to tell anyone about my sexuality, so whilst I have told a few friends, I have not felt like I can talk to any christian friends at all (because our christian community is pretty close and my parents would freak if they knew I was telling anyone). So as you can imagine it feels pretty lonely, and I do not feel able to be fully engaged and open in my church. Instead barriers have to go up, so I have to lie to people as to why I am in tears some Sundays. I try not to let this get to me but it really does. This is why I stay up and read blogs like yours into the night when I know I should probably be asleep.

    You give me so much hope, and that one day I will find a church that is accepting and feel like I really belong. As for my parents I really don’t know what to do…

    But thank you for speaking out. It really means so much and I pray God blesses you as you continue your journey xxx


    1. Chloe, I am utterly moved by your words and your heart. It breaks my heart to hear your story and I pray long and hard along with you that one day soon you and your beloved can go to church together without fear of judgement or condemnation! I pray you can love openly one day soon as I believe God intended.

      You are the reason God has directed me to speak out! He has directed my path towards this issue because He love you (and all LGBT folks) AS YOU ARE! You are supposed to love as you love! He created you to love this way for a reason!

      If you haven’t already please check out the book UNFAIR by John Shore, the NALT Project as well as continue to follow blogs such as mine that can offer you the hope, encouragement, acceptance and love that God desires for you!

      May God bless you and your beloved & thanks SO much for your comment! ❤️Ann


  12. Wow this is a fantastic article, and the title is perfect! I wish more heterosexual people would care as much as you do. I also wish that Christians who advocate on behalf of LGBT rights were given more limelight, because there is plenty of them, and yet they are over shadowed by the fundamentalists.

    People who say that “the Bible condemns homosexuality” don’t read it in context and don’t explore other interpretations. Surely God would want us to explore alternative interpretations rather than just blindly following the Bible word for word?

    Anyway, less of the ranting on my part!

    This is a really fantastic piece of writing which actually fulfils the message of loving thy neighbour rather than only loving neighbour’s of choice! Well done xx


    1. Jennifer, I’m just TICKLED to death that you stopped by and read and liked this heart-filled post! ❤️ One day it is my hope and prayer that ALL people feel accepted and loved for the unique and precious souls they are… no matter their gender-identity, race, age, orientation, IQ, nationality or any other external descriptor! Thank you for your kind words. May this message of caring spread faster and further and stronger and louder than the voices of fear and hate!
      PS I look forward to following your blog too! 😊


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